September 11, 2001

Ten years ago today was a big day in the life of our family. Today was the day our country, your uncle, your friends, and your Dad were called to war.

I remember I was a freshman sitting in my teacher's aid office and the principal came running in telling us to turn on the television. Baba worked at the school and after heading to my mom, I saw it on T.V.  One of the twin towers in New York City had been hit by an airplane. After watching for only a few minutes, another plane came and hit the second tower. People were running, it was chaos. Everyone was trying to escape the tragedy before them. Time passed and because the planes had melted the beams in the buildings, the two towers collapsed. Sadness filled my heart and fear began to run through my mind. What was next, Who was next! I remember wanting my dad to come home so I would know he was safe and not wanting him to go back to work the next day. My life had changed forever, I just did not know how much and how much it would affect me in the years to come.


Your Dad was in a Sophmore at Smiths Station High School standing outside the gym waiting to go to his second block class. Another guy who was his age was checking into school and he had seen it on the news. He told them planes had flown into the Trade Centers. Your Dad said that if at that time he would have been old enough to join he would have.

America was brought to her knees and she turned back to her roots. Christians came together and it seemed as if our nation was looking to the Lord once again. Flags flew everywhere and the word Patriotism became more real to me than ever before. Our nation came together, however war began. It seemed as though every American supported and watched as President George W. Bush declared war on terrorism. Life as we knew it was no more and everyone watched and waited as the fighting began.

But time passed and Americans grew tired of the war. As men died and families were broken, support for the war was slowly leaving. The tragedy of the towers was placed in the back of our minds and America went on with life forgetting about the men fighting far away. I was one of those people, supporting the war, but going on with life giving little thought to all that was really taken place. That was until I met your Dad!

After high school your dad had plans to work at Country's and attend college at CVCC. But God had different plans for him. On August 26th, 2004, your Dad swore into the United State Army! I have told you many things already about this time in his life and how happy he was following the will of God for his life.

But for me, war granted me but one thing, fear. I was afraid it would be brought back to America, but most of all I was afraid of never seeing your Dad again. Before his second deployment to Iraq you Dad said to me, "Either way, I am coming home." Something you did not really want to hear but knew it was the truth. Your Dad knew what was waiting for him if he were to die. He even told me once that if someone had to die in the war, he wanted it to be him because he knew where he was going. Both of the realities were more than I could bear. Let's me honest, of course I want everyone to go to Heaven, but to sacrifice your Dad for it, it was too much for me to think about.

So many nights alone at home I continued to think about and pray, "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love, joy, peace, and a sound mind." This verse got me through many nights when I would think about your Dad fighting in a war far away. Your Dad called me every day when he was deployed and God granted me more grace in this time in my life than ever before. I lived alone for 4 months, and now I do not even like to go in the house by myself. I remember one time your Dad missed calling just one day because a helicopter had gone down. When he called me the next day, I answered the phone and all I could do was cry! I just wanted him to be safe, I just wanted your Dad to come home!

Abigail, ten years ago today, a war would begin that would change our families life. For your dad, this day brought a sense of urgency, but for me it brought a whole new reliance on God for our security. I leave you with this passage of Scripture. It is many times called the "Soldiers Prayer" which fits us all because we are all soldiers in God's Army!

Psalm 91

 ¹ Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
   will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.^[a] 2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
   my God, in whom I trust.” ³ Surely he will save you
   from the fowler’s snare
   and from the deadly pestilence. ⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
   and under his wings you will find refuge;
   his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. ⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
   nor the arrow that flies by day, ⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
   nor the plague that destroys at midday. ⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
   ten thousand at your right hand,
   but it will not come near you. ⁸ You will only observe with your eyes
   and see the punishment of the wicked.
 ⁹ If you say, “The LORD is my refuge,”
   and you make the Most High your dwelling, ¹⁰ no harm will overtake you,
   no disaster will come near your tent. ¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
   to guard you in all your ways; ¹² they will lift you up in their hands,
   so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. ¹³ You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
   you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
 ¹⁴ “Because he^[b] loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him;
   I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. ¹⁵ He will call on me, and I will answer him;
   I will be with him in trouble,
   I will deliver him and honor him. ¹⁶ With long life I will satisfy him
   and show him my salvation.”

Trusting His Heart

"You cannot always trace His hand, but you can trust His heart!"

On July 20th, 2006, your Dad and I got married. It was a fairy tale wedding with beautiful pouring rain and truly indescribable grace. It was everything a girl could ask for!! But a few weeks after your Dad and I got married life began to take some very difficult turns.

I was still in school studying to become a teacher and your dad was in 3rd Ranger Battalion. He was gone all the time and I was very lonely. He went from one training event to another. I missed him so much. I remember praying all the time that God would allow him to be home more, but it just seemed like the harder I prayed, the more he was away.

We got new cell phones when we got married and Dave gave his old phone to Papa Teddy. One fall morning we woke up to someone banging on the door. It was Papa Teddy. Work had called and your dad had about 15 minutes to get to Fort Benning which was 30 minutes away before he was in serious trouble. He flew out there but not in time.

Long story, short.... Your dad got an extra dose of work. He was working from 6 in the morning until midnight! It was horrible. I remember waking up one morning standing in the kitchen at 5:00 while your dad at his cereal just to spend time with him. It was so hard being apart and it put me in an emotional roller-coaster. I wanted so bad to just spend time with your Dad but the Army owned him and we could do nothing about it.

After a couple of weeks, he went back to his regular schedule and job. (which wasn't much better) He was gone for a 3 weeks here to Kentucky and nights there doing air jumps. It was taking a toll on us and on the family. His family wanted to see him but he was working all the time and when he was home I wanted time alone with him. He, we, were pulled in a hundred directions but the only person winning was the Army.

Now the time for your Dad to go to Ranger School was coming. This was a 2 month school that required you to pass some tests before going. When your Dad was preparing to go, he broke his foot. His squad leader was determined he was still going but there was no way he could do it! He passed all the 12 mile road march to get in, but 2 months of intense testing was out of the question. When your Dad was unable to go he was moved to another job. This was extremely hard for your Dad. He loved his job and he wanted to stay where he was. He joined the Army to fight and he believed that was God's plan for his life, but now everything had changed and he questioned why this was happening.

He was now working in the Arms Room which was where the kept the guns. This job was okay, but still not what he wanted. One November night something happened that would again cause David to question. It was late, and the guys had just gotten home from a long training. Your Dad was checking the guns and placing them on the racks. A guy handed your Dad his gun and he charged it. David saw nothing, but when he pulled the trigger the gun fired.

I can only imagine the look in your Dad's eyes as he knew the consequences for what had just happened. Everything he knew God wanted for him was just lost with one indescribable event. I can imagine things were running through your Dad's head like, "Why didn't he clean his gun? I didn't see anything, how could this happen?" This event in your Dad's life mean her would be kicked out of Ranger Battalion and/or sent to Korea for the rest of his time in the Army. (he had about a year left)

I have to believe in this moment your Dad felt a lot like Joseph. He was taken from a job and a "family" he loved and put in a place of high responsibility by someone who did not really care for him, and now like Joseph he was going to be placed into "prison". Joseph, like your Dad, did not deserve what happened to him. He was innocent. He was in the wrong place, wrong time and accused. It was neither of their faults, but the consequences fell on their shoulders. Genesis 39: 21-23 says about Joseph after he was wrongfully accused and thrown into prison, "But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love.... the Lord was with him and whatever he did, the Lord made succeed." Another version says, "he was prosperous." It makes you think about what the word prosperous really means. I know your Dad did not feel prosperous in this time in his life. From the looks and demeanor I saw from him, he looked defeated and discouraged. Everything he loved at work was stripped from him and his pride took a big hit! So what does it mean to be prosperous if God could call Joseph prosperous in the prison and your Dad prosperous when he lost everything that defined him. "And the Lord was with him." The definition is very simple and rewards are great. It does not matter where we are in life as long as, "the Lord is with us" we ARE prosperous.


And the Lord was with your Dad. Gen. 39:2 says, and I believe this to be true about your Dad, "He succeeded in everything he did as he served..." When Dad was brought before the Colonel, it was said about him that he was a good Ranger and that he had never caused any problems. The Colonel showed mercy on your Dad and did not kick him out or send him to Korea. I was overjoyed, but although your Dad was glad to be staying home, he was still not happy. He was moved to a job in the S4 shop which for him was a slap in the face. Your Dad wanted to fight and now he was stuck in supply. Upon finding out in the months to come he would not be deploying, there was an ounce of joy back into your Dad's life.

I was so happy that your Dad was staying home! It was the answer to so many of my prayers and I felt the Lord had truly given this as a gift to us. Abigail, there is one thing I want more than anything and that is to be with your Dad. It was so hard for me for him to be away and I was at peace knowing this was the end. He only had about 10 months left in, which meant no more deployments and time together would be easier to find. Since he was now staying home, we decided to buy a house. It was a fixer upper but we were so excited about doing this and I really thought this was going to make your Dad happier and it did but as fast as it came, the happiness left.

The Battalion was leaving for another deployment in 2 days and your Dad had been told he was staying behind. His sergeant came up to him and told him he was going. David said he did not want to go but the decision had already been made. Your Dad was angry! He had already told me he was not going, and he had other plans now. He tried to fight it but it was no use, it was happening and in 2 days your Dad was leaving. He came home and told me. I cried, weeped, and begged him not to go. I knew it hurt him and after apologizing a million times, he got in the bed and stayed there the rest of the night. Sadness and anger filled out home and your Dad was once again back in "prison" and this time on the other side of the ocean.

And so he went. 3 months, 100 days. They came and went and it all did come to an end. We survived and we were together again, but something was still not right in your Dad. He was bitter and angry. He struggled with why things had happened the way they did. He dealt with his pride constantly asking why he was demoted, in his eyes, for reasons that made no sense to him.

Brother Lewis came home from the deployment where your Dad was in Iraq working supply. He showed pictures to David that took him back. The pictures were of a striker, but not just any striker, the striker your Dad used to arm. The striker has been hit by an IED (Improvised explosive devise), and no one was killed in the hit. No one was killed because no one had replaced your Dad.  Abigail, if your Dad had been there, he would not have come home. These realities didn't mean much at the time to your Dad or I. We were absent minded to what God had really done. Time would change that.

Over a year later, things began looking up for your Dad again. He started his own business and was beginning to see small pieces of fruit developing. He was enjoying life more and seeking what the Lord wanted for his life. The pastor, Ray Cummings, asked everyone in the church to begin to pray for revival in the church and for it to begin in the circle around your own two feet. For the first time in your Dad's life he knelt down and prayed asking for his own revival to begin. Little did he know the revolation God had for him.

As he began to pray, God gave your Dad a vision. He was in Iraq driving on the top of the striker he saw in the pictures from Brother Lewis. The IED was ahead but before the striker was hit, two angels came down and removed your Dad from the striker. Your Dad was saved, but not by chance, it was uniquely planned by the Lord! His Hand removed your Dad from that striker.

Abigail, so many times in your life you will ask Why? Like Joseph and like your Dad, we don't always think we "deserve" to be in the prison we are in. We don't always see that the stepping stones or stumbling blocks save our life. We can't see the end, we can only see the right now. But God can see the whole picture. He is working all the time in our life to bring about His purpose and will for our lives. We could never have known a missed phone call, a misfire, and a demotion which save your Dad's life.

There was a poem on a card my Mom gave me when things got hard for me in high school and it said, "Sometimes life is rough and it's hard to understand, why things don't work out exactly like we planed. But just hold a little while with patience and with prayer, you might find a special gift you didn't know was there."