September 11, 2001

Ten years ago today was a big day in the life of our family. Today was the day our country, your uncle, your friends, and your Dad were called to war.

I remember I was a freshman sitting in my teacher's aid office and the principal came running in telling us to turn on the television. Baba worked at the school and after heading to my mom, I saw it on T.V.  One of the twin towers in New York City had been hit by an airplane. After watching for only a few minutes, another plane came and hit the second tower. People were running, it was chaos. Everyone was trying to escape the tragedy before them. Time passed and because the planes had melted the beams in the buildings, the two towers collapsed. Sadness filled my heart and fear began to run through my mind. What was next, Who was next! I remember wanting my dad to come home so I would know he was safe and not wanting him to go back to work the next day. My life had changed forever, I just did not know how much and how much it would affect me in the years to come.


Your Dad was in a Sophmore at Smiths Station High School standing outside the gym waiting to go to his second block class. Another guy who was his age was checking into school and he had seen it on the news. He told them planes had flown into the Trade Centers. Your Dad said that if at that time he would have been old enough to join he would have.

America was brought to her knees and she turned back to her roots. Christians came together and it seemed as if our nation was looking to the Lord once again. Flags flew everywhere and the word Patriotism became more real to me than ever before. Our nation came together, however war began. It seemed as though every American supported and watched as President George W. Bush declared war on terrorism. Life as we knew it was no more and everyone watched and waited as the fighting began.

But time passed and Americans grew tired of the war. As men died and families were broken, support for the war was slowly leaving. The tragedy of the towers was placed in the back of our minds and America went on with life forgetting about the men fighting far away. I was one of those people, supporting the war, but going on with life giving little thought to all that was really taken place. That was until I met your Dad!

After high school your dad had plans to work at Country's and attend college at CVCC. But God had different plans for him. On August 26th, 2004, your Dad swore into the United State Army! I have told you many things already about this time in his life and how happy he was following the will of God for his life.

But for me, war granted me but one thing, fear. I was afraid it would be brought back to America, but most of all I was afraid of never seeing your Dad again. Before his second deployment to Iraq you Dad said to me, "Either way, I am coming home." Something you did not really want to hear but knew it was the truth. Your Dad knew what was waiting for him if he were to die. He even told me once that if someone had to die in the war, he wanted it to be him because he knew where he was going. Both of the realities were more than I could bear. Let's me honest, of course I want everyone to go to Heaven, but to sacrifice your Dad for it, it was too much for me to think about.

So many nights alone at home I continued to think about and pray, "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love, joy, peace, and a sound mind." This verse got me through many nights when I would think about your Dad fighting in a war far away. Your Dad called me every day when he was deployed and God granted me more grace in this time in my life than ever before. I lived alone for 4 months, and now I do not even like to go in the house by myself. I remember one time your Dad missed calling just one day because a helicopter had gone down. When he called me the next day, I answered the phone and all I could do was cry! I just wanted him to be safe, I just wanted your Dad to come home!

Abigail, ten years ago today, a war would begin that would change our families life. For your dad, this day brought a sense of urgency, but for me it brought a whole new reliance on God for our security. I leave you with this passage of Scripture. It is many times called the "Soldiers Prayer" which fits us all because we are all soldiers in God's Army!

Psalm 91

 ¹ Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
   will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.^[a] 2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
   my God, in whom I trust.” ³ Surely he will save you
   from the fowler’s snare
   and from the deadly pestilence. ⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
   and under his wings you will find refuge;
   his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. ⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
   nor the arrow that flies by day, ⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
   nor the plague that destroys at midday. ⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
   ten thousand at your right hand,
   but it will not come near you. ⁸ You will only observe with your eyes
   and see the punishment of the wicked.
 ⁹ If you say, “The LORD is my refuge,”
   and you make the Most High your dwelling, ¹⁰ no harm will overtake you,
   no disaster will come near your tent. ¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
   to guard you in all your ways; ¹² they will lift you up in their hands,
   so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. ¹³ You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
   you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
 ¹⁴ “Because he^[b] loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him;
   I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. ¹⁵ He will call on me, and I will answer him;
   I will be with him in trouble,
   I will deliver him and honor him. ¹⁶ With long life I will satisfy him
   and show him my salvation.”

Trusting His Heart

"You cannot always trace His hand, but you can trust His heart!"

On July 20th, 2006, your Dad and I got married. It was a fairy tale wedding with beautiful pouring rain and truly indescribable grace. It was everything a girl could ask for!! But a few weeks after your Dad and I got married life began to take some very difficult turns.

I was still in school studying to become a teacher and your dad was in 3rd Ranger Battalion. He was gone all the time and I was very lonely. He went from one training event to another. I missed him so much. I remember praying all the time that God would allow him to be home more, but it just seemed like the harder I prayed, the more he was away.

We got new cell phones when we got married and Dave gave his old phone to Papa Teddy. One fall morning we woke up to someone banging on the door. It was Papa Teddy. Work had called and your dad had about 15 minutes to get to Fort Benning which was 30 minutes away before he was in serious trouble. He flew out there but not in time.

Long story, short.... Your dad got an extra dose of work. He was working from 6 in the morning until midnight! It was horrible. I remember waking up one morning standing in the kitchen at 5:00 while your dad at his cereal just to spend time with him. It was so hard being apart and it put me in an emotional roller-coaster. I wanted so bad to just spend time with your Dad but the Army owned him and we could do nothing about it.

After a couple of weeks, he went back to his regular schedule and job. (which wasn't much better) He was gone for a 3 weeks here to Kentucky and nights there doing air jumps. It was taking a toll on us and on the family. His family wanted to see him but he was working all the time and when he was home I wanted time alone with him. He, we, were pulled in a hundred directions but the only person winning was the Army.

Now the time for your Dad to go to Ranger School was coming. This was a 2 month school that required you to pass some tests before going. When your Dad was preparing to go, he broke his foot. His squad leader was determined he was still going but there was no way he could do it! He passed all the 12 mile road march to get in, but 2 months of intense testing was out of the question. When your Dad was unable to go he was moved to another job. This was extremely hard for your Dad. He loved his job and he wanted to stay where he was. He joined the Army to fight and he believed that was God's plan for his life, but now everything had changed and he questioned why this was happening.

He was now working in the Arms Room which was where the kept the guns. This job was okay, but still not what he wanted. One November night something happened that would again cause David to question. It was late, and the guys had just gotten home from a long training. Your Dad was checking the guns and placing them on the racks. A guy handed your Dad his gun and he charged it. David saw nothing, but when he pulled the trigger the gun fired.

I can only imagine the look in your Dad's eyes as he knew the consequences for what had just happened. Everything he knew God wanted for him was just lost with one indescribable event. I can imagine things were running through your Dad's head like, "Why didn't he clean his gun? I didn't see anything, how could this happen?" This event in your Dad's life mean her would be kicked out of Ranger Battalion and/or sent to Korea for the rest of his time in the Army. (he had about a year left)

I have to believe in this moment your Dad felt a lot like Joseph. He was taken from a job and a "family" he loved and put in a place of high responsibility by someone who did not really care for him, and now like Joseph he was going to be placed into "prison". Joseph, like your Dad, did not deserve what happened to him. He was innocent. He was in the wrong place, wrong time and accused. It was neither of their faults, but the consequences fell on their shoulders. Genesis 39: 21-23 says about Joseph after he was wrongfully accused and thrown into prison, "But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love.... the Lord was with him and whatever he did, the Lord made succeed." Another version says, "he was prosperous." It makes you think about what the word prosperous really means. I know your Dad did not feel prosperous in this time in his life. From the looks and demeanor I saw from him, he looked defeated and discouraged. Everything he loved at work was stripped from him and his pride took a big hit! So what does it mean to be prosperous if God could call Joseph prosperous in the prison and your Dad prosperous when he lost everything that defined him. "And the Lord was with him." The definition is very simple and rewards are great. It does not matter where we are in life as long as, "the Lord is with us" we ARE prosperous.


And the Lord was with your Dad. Gen. 39:2 says, and I believe this to be true about your Dad, "He succeeded in everything he did as he served..." When Dad was brought before the Colonel, it was said about him that he was a good Ranger and that he had never caused any problems. The Colonel showed mercy on your Dad and did not kick him out or send him to Korea. I was overjoyed, but although your Dad was glad to be staying home, he was still not happy. He was moved to a job in the S4 shop which for him was a slap in the face. Your Dad wanted to fight and now he was stuck in supply. Upon finding out in the months to come he would not be deploying, there was an ounce of joy back into your Dad's life.

I was so happy that your Dad was staying home! It was the answer to so many of my prayers and I felt the Lord had truly given this as a gift to us. Abigail, there is one thing I want more than anything and that is to be with your Dad. It was so hard for me for him to be away and I was at peace knowing this was the end. He only had about 10 months left in, which meant no more deployments and time together would be easier to find. Since he was now staying home, we decided to buy a house. It was a fixer upper but we were so excited about doing this and I really thought this was going to make your Dad happier and it did but as fast as it came, the happiness left.

The Battalion was leaving for another deployment in 2 days and your Dad had been told he was staying behind. His sergeant came up to him and told him he was going. David said he did not want to go but the decision had already been made. Your Dad was angry! He had already told me he was not going, and he had other plans now. He tried to fight it but it was no use, it was happening and in 2 days your Dad was leaving. He came home and told me. I cried, weeped, and begged him not to go. I knew it hurt him and after apologizing a million times, he got in the bed and stayed there the rest of the night. Sadness and anger filled out home and your Dad was once again back in "prison" and this time on the other side of the ocean.

And so he went. 3 months, 100 days. They came and went and it all did come to an end. We survived and we were together again, but something was still not right in your Dad. He was bitter and angry. He struggled with why things had happened the way they did. He dealt with his pride constantly asking why he was demoted, in his eyes, for reasons that made no sense to him.

Brother Lewis came home from the deployment where your Dad was in Iraq working supply. He showed pictures to David that took him back. The pictures were of a striker, but not just any striker, the striker your Dad used to arm. The striker has been hit by an IED (Improvised explosive devise), and no one was killed in the hit. No one was killed because no one had replaced your Dad.  Abigail, if your Dad had been there, he would not have come home. These realities didn't mean much at the time to your Dad or I. We were absent minded to what God had really done. Time would change that.

Over a year later, things began looking up for your Dad again. He started his own business and was beginning to see small pieces of fruit developing. He was enjoying life more and seeking what the Lord wanted for his life. The pastor, Ray Cummings, asked everyone in the church to begin to pray for revival in the church and for it to begin in the circle around your own two feet. For the first time in your Dad's life he knelt down and prayed asking for his own revival to begin. Little did he know the revolation God had for him.

As he began to pray, God gave your Dad a vision. He was in Iraq driving on the top of the striker he saw in the pictures from Brother Lewis. The IED was ahead but before the striker was hit, two angels came down and removed your Dad from the striker. Your Dad was saved, but not by chance, it was uniquely planned by the Lord! His Hand removed your Dad from that striker.

Abigail, so many times in your life you will ask Why? Like Joseph and like your Dad, we don't always think we "deserve" to be in the prison we are in. We don't always see that the stepping stones or stumbling blocks save our life. We can't see the end, we can only see the right now. But God can see the whole picture. He is working all the time in our life to bring about His purpose and will for our lives. We could never have known a missed phone call, a misfire, and a demotion which save your Dad's life.

There was a poem on a card my Mom gave me when things got hard for me in high school and it said, "Sometimes life is rough and it's hard to understand, why things don't work out exactly like we planed. But just hold a little while with patience and with prayer, you might find a special gift you didn't know was there."

Cost

"I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross"

Today when driving to Auburn your Dad asked me, " Do you ever think about what that really means?"

I thought he was talking about a conversation we were having so I was a bit confused. He asked the question again, "Do you ever thing about what that really means?"

I thought for a minute and said, "yeah, I have thought about it."I was telling your Dad I think about what God must have felt like. I ponder what it would be like to send you to die for people I don't know for things as like little white lies. I cannot imagine sending you to die for those people I don't even like. There's no way I could do it!

But your Dad thought about it another way. He was thinking about Jesus. Could he have did what Jesus did. He said he would like to think he could endure it all for me and you, but what about everyone else. What about those people who stole his tools a few weeks ago or the customers he cannot get to pay him? Could I do it for them? No Way! Jesus did!! He endured it all for people he didn't know and people who would chose not to chose Him! Why? Because of Love!

The Bible commands us to love and love is great sacrifice. Matthew says, "No greater love than this then he who would lay down his life for a friend." It is easy to say I love you to someone but never to truly comprehend the sacrifice behind the love and the commitment to those words. Corinthians says, "Love Never Fails" We all fail. Your Dad and I will fail! We are not perfect! But there is one who is perfect and he showed us perfect love at Calvary! He will never fail!

In thinking about love remember the sacrifice behind love. Remember it's a laying down of your life for another. Even your enemies! The Bible says to, "love your enemies" What a task before us!

Abigail you can love with this love but only through Jesus! He is the only one who can love through you. Allow yourself to be molded and shaped by the Lord and allow his love to shine through you to others.

I have a story I want to share with you that your Daddy tells.

A preacher was giving the invitation one night at church and shared this story. There was a dad who took his son and a friend fishing. A big storm came and the two boys fell off the boat. The dad turned and there was one lifesaver. Who do you think the dad threw it to? His son of course! No! He through it to his sons friend. How? Why? His son was saved and he knew where he was going but the friend was not. The preacher looked in the crowd and pointed to a man and said, " that's the Dad who took me fishing. I am the boy he chose."

In this story you could doubt the fathers love for his son very easily, but his love was shown through sacrifice. Much like the love the Father showed to us by giving us Jesus. It wasn't the absence of love, it was the willingness to share the love with others!!

When you think about the cross, never forget the love behind it and how it is your job, your lifes call, to share it!

You'll never know how much it cost to see your sin upon that cross! Do you ever think about it?

Pictures

As you will learn, I love technology. I am always looking for the newest "toy" as Baba and Pops call it to try out and learn to use. My newest "toy" is the iphone. I have wanted one for a long time but Daddy isn't to into this kinda stuff, he would rather have a gun or a tractor or something like that. He did finally breakdown and buy me one for my first mother's day. I was so excited. I love it! I have used it so much for so many things that are really not important or necessary at all.

So this one isn't much of a story or lesson, just some pictures I really want to share with you. Right now I am really liking this app for the iphone called Instagram. You can take pictures and give them a color change to make them look differently. I really like it because I love antiques and it makes the pictures look oldish!

Here are some of my favorite pictures I have taken of you!!

Praying for Daddy

Holding Your Head up for the First Time

Two-Piece Jammies

Sleeping Beauty

Morning Hair

Getting Better at Holding Head Up

My Cousins

Clapping those Feet

Sweet Smile

I love watching you sleep!

Sweet Loving

Holding on to those Toes

Gracie

Playing with Gracie for the First Time

Gracie is quite the dog as you will learn! She is pretty much Marley from the movie and the books. She has done some crazy things and like John Grogan said, "She not a regular dog."

Thanksgiving 2008

When your Dad was deployed, she was at Papa Teddy's and I drove up to get her. I found her tangled in a screen off their house. She looked at me like, "what? I didn't do it!"

I came home once to find her in the bathroom of our apartment. There was poop all over the place, toilet paper was everywhere and the hairdryer was running! How she managed that one is beyond me.

When she was staying at the apartment with my parents we used to find smudges on the mirror behind the couch in the living room. Later, we found out who was doing that! Gracie was jumping up there and looking at herself in the mirror. Mom said she would say, "Mirror, Mirror on the wall whose the prettiest dog of all. Oh! That's me, Gracie!"

The "Chunk It"

She will fetch anything! Water bottles, paper, twigs, bones, even snowballs! Just about anything you will throw, she'll go get it!! When you play fetch with her, you have to be real careful because she will bring you trees to throw. But her most favorite thing to fetch is a tennis ball. She will chase them for hours. You can throw them in the lake all day and she will fetch them. It's her mission in life to save that tennis ball! Whoever invented the "Chunk It" was brilliant! No more hands dirty and drooly from the ball, and when you have a hyper dog like Gracie, the further the better!

She is an amazing jumper. She jumps into the back of your Dad's truck with the tailgate up! She jumped off our 9 foot back porch after a dove, and off the dock a thousand times chasing the ball. She'd jump out  our 4 foot fence just to go lay on the front porch.

April 2005

Gracie is an escape artist. From the time was the puppy, she wanted her freedom. Daddy tried to keep her pinned up at the Downey's but it never worked. She always got free and she taught her friends the same. You never got to meet Bubbles, but she was Nanny's bulldog and Papa Teddy kept her pinned up. They planned together how to free her. Bubbles pulled the fence with her strong jaw and Gracie dug the hole for her to come out through. No matter what Papa Teddy did to keep Bubbles in.. Gracie freed her! We had a 125 pound Golden Retriever named Mason, and Gracie escaped with him and got him hit by a car.

Dock Dogs Competition 2008
Gracie jumped 21 Feet!

She's been the mom to 22, yes I said 22, puppies. She had two litters of 11 puppies. After 2 weeks she didn't want to feed them anymore. We had to water down puppy chow and feed them twice a day. Once we came home and it was raining really hard. We just let Gracie and the puppies run free in the backyard. We had a over hang on our shed out back with a jetski under it. Gracie did not want anything to do with the puppies. When we came home we went to let her in the house and found her sitting on top of the jetski to get away from the puppies. It was hilarious!! She couldn't get to the back door fast enough.

Fall 2006

Gracie truly is man's best friend and she has been that for our family! Your dad deployed twice when we were together and Gracie was always there for me! On his first deployment, she kept us laughing with her all her crazy stunts, and she kept me busy training her for your Dad. I taught her three things sit, stay and come. (She does all three quite well)

On his second deployment, she was simply my company and my security. We had a house at this time and I didn't want David to think I didn't feel safe in the home he had bought for me so I stayed there alone. Gracie was someone for me to talk to, to cry on when I missed your Dad, and to keep your Dad's side of the bed warm. I love her so much! When I was all alone, she was always there.

Deployment 2 "Hanging with Pops"

When your Dad came home from that deployment he asked me to bring Gracie with me to pick him up. I brought her in the truck and left the back window in the truck cracked for her to get air. When she saw your Dad, she pushed the window open with her nose and jumped over the tailgate out of the truck to see your Dad. Unconditional Love!!

The day after your Dad deployed!
6 weeks old

Even when you were born, Abigail, she would stay up late into the night with us.  She is always there!

I guess your wondering why and how we ended up with Gracie. Your Dad proposed with Gracie and she has been crazy since the beginning. Dad had his parents come put Gracie in the back of his truck while we went into the Walmart. I was supposed to just get into the truck and not notice her but remember she is an escape artist and she got out of the box and was walking around in the back. I picked her up and I just thought she was a gift from Dad to help me through the deployments but she was much more than that. We took her to Flat Rock to play with her and while I was playing with her your Dad called my name. I turned around and there he was on one knee asking me to marry him.

Gracie was suppose to have the ring on her neck but things didn't work out quite like Dad wanted but it was so perfect!

Your first meeting!

Gracie got her name that night as well. We were talking about what to name her and of course your Dad didn't care. We decided on Gracie because we always wanted to look at Gracie and have the reminder that we were God's gift of Grace to each other. And so the name took and to this day when times get tough, I always look at our crazy animal and remember God's grace!

Abigail, Gracie is a picture of Jesus and His Love in my life. He is always there. He always has an open ear. He is always excited to see and talk to you no matter how bad things were that day. He keeps no record of wrong and forgives us for anything that we do to make Him unhappy. He seeks after what is lost and does not stop until he finds it! It's hard to believe an animal can show us so much about Jesus!

Relaxing on the Boat

When you look at Gracie, play with her, and begin to love her in the years to come, I pray you are reminded of God's grace as well. God gave you something you did not deserve!! He gave you eternal life. A gift that cannot be taken away! Your Dad and I's prayer is that you receive this gift and share it with so many more.

Oh, and, you don't have to worry about Gracie going to Heaven, she's very holy! She ate an entire Bible!!

Dock Dogs Competition! My favorite picture of our family before you!

Ring

Our engagement picture were taken Saturday Morning before he left that afternoon!

Your Dad and I continued to date for the months to come. We had a great time together and there are so many things I could share from this time. Your Dad was so good to me and I knew deep down he was going to be the one, but I was constantly battling the peace I felt when I was with him.

I prayed for our relationship asking God if your dad was not right for me that he would end it early. I remember kneeling on my knees by the bed each night after he left asking God to protect my heart. It was like I was so scared he was going to leave, I could not truly embrace what God had given me.

I recalled to mind James 4 where is says, "Draw near to me and I will draw near to you." I was nestling up to  the Lord asking for his continued hand in our relationship and in the direction of my life. But it wasn't until sometime in January, God gave me my first diamond.

It was late one night after your Dad had went home and I found myself yet again on my knees praying about your Dad. I began to cry, just begging God to not allow your Dad to hurt me. It was a struggle inside me to rest in the Lord's peace, and it was making me physically exhausted. And then in the quiet, louder than my cry, the Lord spoke to me.

Many times in my life, I have heard the Lord speak to my heart, but this time it was more than that. I heard the Lord audibly speak to me. Almost 6 years later, I can still hear His still, quiet voice say, "Be still and know that I am God." Words cannot begin to explain the voice I heard and the overwhelming peace and trust in the Lord I felt. His voice was stern, yet loving. It was a whisper that could be heard only by my attuned ears. Why me? Why allow me to hear Your voice? Don't these things only happen in the Bible?

So many times, Abigail, we miss God because we do not seek Him in the quiet places of our heart. We do not hear because we do not listen, and we do not have, because we do not ask. Abigail, always be found listening, and always be found ready!!

After this moment with the Lord, I had a new confidence in our relationship.

I started writing a book that I planned on giving to your Dad when left for his deployment if we were still together. (we still have the book in the living room of the house. one day I plan to read it to you) The book is mostly prayers and thoughts for your Dad. As the Lord was teaching me things, I would write them down for your Dad to read. I wrote quotes that I love in the book and my favorite Bible verses. This book was full of me and something I really wanted your Dad to cherish.

Five months flew by and April came too soon. Your Dad was a "Ranger." (I know it didn't mean much to me either at first) He explains it to me as the elite soldier, and the only ones who "do" anything in the war. I guess his t-shirt explains it best, "When is absolutely, positively has to be destroyed over night." He was a gunnar and you know how much he loves guns. He loved his job, but it was difficult. Difficult because I knew he was only home 6 months, then gone for 3. I knew he had just gotten home when we met, and the time to leave was drawing near.

He never said much about it, but I could feel it. First sign, He told me he loved me. Second sign, Time off. Third sign, He wanted to spend time with Papa Teddy.

I had to give him my gifts because knowing your Dad, he would have left without saying good-bye to protect his unit. It was late on Monday, April 5th and I gave your Dad the book I had written, a Bible, and several hand written letters. I cried but he kept assuring me, it was all going to be okay.

Remember the ring I talked about. The one with the heart and the cross that I wore to remind me of the promise the Lord gave me that He would protect me. Well, that night, I pulled it off my finger and gave it to your Dad. I told him I wanted it to protect him like God had protected me by giving me your Dad. He took the ring and tied it to the knife he kept in his pocket.

Sissy and I the Sunday after showing off our rings. 

Little did I know, your Dad had bigger plans for that ring. He took that ring to the jeweler and used it to get the size for my engagement ring.

Thursday your Dad asked me to marry him, and Saturday he left for the deserts of Iraq.

This story is so dear and precious to my heart. It just shows the power of releasing things over to the Lord, and trusting in His promises. That small ring with a big promise, turned into a bigger ring full of joy holding with it the promise of your Dad. He is more than I could have dreamed!

Abigail, many times in life it will be easy to walk away and not trust in God's promises because they seem to far out of reach. But trust them Abigail, remind yourself of them daily, and wait on the Lord to fulfill them!

Meeting Your Dad

Our first date was to Uncle Chad and Aunt Natalie's wedding!

Finding your Dad was simply God's hand in my life many years ago. In high school I dated a guy for two years. We met when I was a sophomore and dated until April of my senior year. I thought he was the one and I had told my parents the same thing. Dad always struggled with our relationship, knowing he wanted something different, something better for me. I, too, struggled with knowing deep in my heart he was not right for me. I remember sitting in church and the pastor talking about if you have red flags, doubts or fears, about your relationship, get out now. I could see the flags waving all in my face but I kept telling myself things would change and I could change him. Deep down, I knew I couldn't.


I wasn't listening to the Lord and looking back I really wasn't happy. I was in so deep and I saw no way out. April came and I remember talking to my Dad in the car about us getting married. My dad began to weep. Now, I have to tell you Dad was not a cryer and I really hadn't seen him cry much in my life. But on this Dad cried. Later, Dad told me that in the moments as he as crying about me, he gave the situation to the Lord. He let go and let God take it over.
As you will find in your life, this was extremely hard for my Dad, but he let it go.
Several days later we headed to the mountains with the family, family we do not get together with much. My cell phone wasn't working well and he wasn't calling me. I thought it was because of my cell phone but I found out it was because he just wasn't calling. Finally one night he called. Things seemed strange but I just thought it was the phone. I always found a good excuse for why he acted the way he did. The next day he called again, and this time I heard him loud and clear. He told me he didn't love me anymore and it was over. Just like that, over! I was so shocked. I didn't understand what had happened. Even though I was heartbroken, I had a indescribable peace. A peace that my heart was not broken but instead put back together.

Christmas 2005

We went home and I began to search for what was givin me this peace. I looked to the Lord but I did not seek Him with all that I was. I still felt so lonely. I remember coming home from my Senior trip and everyone was calling their boyfriends. I had no one to call. Loneliness filled my being.
Time passed and I dated several people but it wasn't until I really began to dive into Jesus that my life began to change.
I spent hours with the Lord everyday and I began to find Him in the quiet places of my heart. Peice by peice my heart began to come back together. I was experiencing true joy!
However, even though I was living in a whole new life, I longed for someone to share this life with. I struggled knowing that God should be enough for me but I still yearned for more. I knew God wanted my desires to be the same as His and that He wanted to give me the desires of mine as well. Finally, God showed me that He had put that desire in my heart and I was to pray and wait for His timing in my life. I can honestly say after this moment, I was completely content waiting for God and relying on Him to bring me who He had for me. So to remind myself of God's promise to me I bought a ring with a heart that had a cross in the middle on it. I promised God and myself that I would trust Him for my husband!


It was now September and I had been basking in God's presence in my life for 2 months now! I had found a college Bible Study that I was attending with some friends that did not start until 10 on Wednesday nights at Wynnbrook. I loved this Bible Study and I was growing leaps and bounds in my faith and we had some incredible speakers who were speaking straight to my heart!


Carrie Strickland came one night and was speaking about her struggle with moving her family to Highland. She talked but the only thing I heard was the Scripture Lamentations 3. It was as if God was giving me the free gift of hope from His Word.


Lamentations 3 says, " 
I have been deprived of peace; 

   I have forgotten what prosperity is.
¹⁸ So I say, “My splendor is gone
   and all that I had hoped from the LORD.”

 ¹⁹ I remember my affliction and my wandering,
   the bitterness and the gall.
²⁰ I well remember them,
   and my soul is downcast within me.

David's Tool Shower

²¹ Yet this I call to mind
   and therefore I have hope:

 ²² Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
   for his compassions never fail.
²³ They are new every morning;
   great is your faithfulness.
²⁴ I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
   therefore I will wait for him.”

 ²⁵ The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
   to the one who seeks him;
²⁶ it is good to wait quietly
   for the salvation of the LORD.
²⁷ It is good for a man to bear the yoke
   while he is young.

 ²⁸ Let him sit alone in silence,
   for the LORD has laid it on him.
²⁹ Let him bury his face in the dust—
   there may yet be hope.
³⁰ Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him,
   and let him be filled with disgrace.

 ³¹ For no one is cast off
   by the Lord forever.
³² Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
   so great is his unfailing love. 

God knew exactly what I needed to hear in this time in my life. "The Lord is my portion, therefore I will wait for Him." This phrase was imbedded in my mind. I would say it over and over, and I would sit quietly and wait! Oh and Abigail, the waiting was a precious time! 

I began to find myself sitting alone in silence listening and talking to the Lord more than I ever had before. I was hearing God and He was listening to my prayers. God began in this time to teach me the power of prayer and what it meant to have true zeal for Him. 

I wanted to pray for whoever it was I was waiting for but I did not really know what to pray. I heard a sermon shortly after from a man who encouraged all of us to pray specifically for what we wanted. He said he prayed for a "righteous fox" and God gave him his righteous fox. This got me thinking about what I really wanted in a husband. I thought about all sorts of ideals and characteristics I wanted, but the Lord drew me to this verse in 1 Samuel 16 (which happens to be your Dad's favorite book of the Bible) 

"He was ruddy, with a fine appearance and handsome features. Then the LORD said, "Rise and anoint him; he is the one."

These were the character traits I wanted for a husband, handsome, rustic, and anointed or called by the Lord. He found favor in the eyes of Christ. Now, as you probably know, this passage is speaking of David. (Doesn't God just see all the things we cannot)

Time has passed and October came. I was at the Wednesday night Bible study and just enjoying worshipping the Lord with friends. And here he came, out of the desserts of Afghanistan, into my life. It did not really make much sense for him to be here. He was in the Army and had to be at work at 5 in the morning. Why was he at a Bible Study at 10 at night?

Deployment 3 to Iraq

I didn't think much about our meeting that night. I though it was a moment, it came and went and I thought I would never see him again. But your Dad, he though much differently. Your Dad told Brother Lewis that night, "He could date any of his friends, but Mallory is mine." 


We met again on a caving trip that Saturday. Your Dad sat behind me in the van. We didn't talk much on the way there but we spoke from time to time. When we got to the cave, we were put into separate groups. Your Dad managed to find his way into my group. ;) As you know, your dad is quite the prankster and he showed this to me from day 2. He and Brother Lewis through firecrackers down from the cave onto us. Your Dad caught my pants on fire. (sounds like him doesn't it)

Rehearsal Dinner

It was pretty cold out when we left the cave and we were all wet from the mud in the cave. The van was locked and we were stuck out in it. Your Dad found a place behind the tire and gave it to me to get out of the wind. We all talked about the trip and waited for the other group to return. By the time they finally got back we were all pretty cold. I had only brought shorts and a sweatshirt and my feet were freezing. Your Dad gave me some wool socks to warm my feet. 


We talked in the van the whole way home and I was falling for him. I wanted to believe he liked me too but it was to soon and I had to protect my heart. I remember he was talking to me and I was looking out into the night sky and all I could think was I wanted this to work, please let this one work. 


We arrived at the church and I got into my car to leave. In my mind I thought, this was a great day but all great days end. He was great but that was it. The End. But here he came. He knocked on the window and I rolled it down. He said," I really enjoyed talking to you, and I would really like to get to know you better." What? Excuse Me? Not only was he interested, he was confident. My heart leaped out of my chest. I was nervous. I had butterflys. And so it began. 

Life Together

Well I guess I will begin by letting you know where we are now even though I know God is not finished with us yet and His story in us will continue to be written. (and for anyone else reading this blog you will know a little about us.)
Your Dad and I are 25 years old and you were given to us just 2.5 short months ago. You have continued to bring us a new joy in the Lord and we are so in love with you! 
We have a yellow lab named Gracie, who you will learn has a story of her own to tell, and she is feeling a bit replaced. Don't worry though we are giving her extra attention and I know she will be your best friend in the years to come! She's always been there for me and I know she will be there for you! Watch Marley and Me and you will see Gracie in Marleys eyes.

Your Dad runs a successful business called David Downey Homes, LLC and he stays very busy with his work. His brother Chad works for him and they have several other workers who work with them from time to time. Your Dad sure loves you and many people say he is happier now than he has ever been before! He lights up around you.
If I had to describe your Dad in one word, I would say faith. He is full of it. If you ask him about His faith, he'll share it. He believes in and acts on His faith in the Lord. He's the best man I know and you have a great Daddy! I cannot wait to tell you about His faith and where it has taken us and more than that, I cannot wait for you to see it in action!
As for me, I too love you with all my heart and when you left my womb, you took part of My heart with you! I stay home and take care of you and I have to say , it's my favorite job Ive ever had. I am truly so happy, joyful, and content and just living each day expecting God to show up in a big way! I love your Dad and he is God's gift of grace to me!

You, sweet Abigail, have started smiling now and I can see the joy in your heart already exploding! Our prayer for you is you never loose the joy and contentment you have at this very early age!
There's our life now and we are just enjoying every minute! I can honestly say this is the happiest time we have had together. But now in the blogs to come I am going to back track and share with you some much more difficult and trying times in our lives. Some of these stories are your Dad's but he isn't much for writing, so I am going to write them for him. They'll be his words and his experiences just written down by me! Learn from us and the one thing I want you to see the most is what faith in the Lord can do for you!
Again I say, precious Abigail, Enjoy our journey!