Trusting His Heart

"You cannot always trace His hand, but you can trust His heart!"

On July 20th, 2006, your Dad and I got married. It was a fairy tale wedding with beautiful pouring rain and truly indescribable grace. It was everything a girl could ask for!! But a few weeks after your Dad and I got married life began to take some very difficult turns.

I was still in school studying to become a teacher and your dad was in 3rd Ranger Battalion. He was gone all the time and I was very lonely. He went from one training event to another. I missed him so much. I remember praying all the time that God would allow him to be home more, but it just seemed like the harder I prayed, the more he was away.

We got new cell phones when we got married and Dave gave his old phone to Papa Teddy. One fall morning we woke up to someone banging on the door. It was Papa Teddy. Work had called and your dad had about 15 minutes to get to Fort Benning which was 30 minutes away before he was in serious trouble. He flew out there but not in time.

Long story, short.... Your dad got an extra dose of work. He was working from 6 in the morning until midnight! It was horrible. I remember waking up one morning standing in the kitchen at 5:00 while your dad at his cereal just to spend time with him. It was so hard being apart and it put me in an emotional roller-coaster. I wanted so bad to just spend time with your Dad but the Army owned him and we could do nothing about it.

After a couple of weeks, he went back to his regular schedule and job. (which wasn't much better) He was gone for a 3 weeks here to Kentucky and nights there doing air jumps. It was taking a toll on us and on the family. His family wanted to see him but he was working all the time and when he was home I wanted time alone with him. He, we, were pulled in a hundred directions but the only person winning was the Army.

Now the time for your Dad to go to Ranger School was coming. This was a 2 month school that required you to pass some tests before going. When your Dad was preparing to go, he broke his foot. His squad leader was determined he was still going but there was no way he could do it! He passed all the 12 mile road march to get in, but 2 months of intense testing was out of the question. When your Dad was unable to go he was moved to another job. This was extremely hard for your Dad. He loved his job and he wanted to stay where he was. He joined the Army to fight and he believed that was God's plan for his life, but now everything had changed and he questioned why this was happening.

He was now working in the Arms Room which was where the kept the guns. This job was okay, but still not what he wanted. One November night something happened that would again cause David to question. It was late, and the guys had just gotten home from a long training. Your Dad was checking the guns and placing them on the racks. A guy handed your Dad his gun and he charged it. David saw nothing, but when he pulled the trigger the gun fired.

I can only imagine the look in your Dad's eyes as he knew the consequences for what had just happened. Everything he knew God wanted for him was just lost with one indescribable event. I can imagine things were running through your Dad's head like, "Why didn't he clean his gun? I didn't see anything, how could this happen?" This event in your Dad's life mean her would be kicked out of Ranger Battalion and/or sent to Korea for the rest of his time in the Army. (he had about a year left)

I have to believe in this moment your Dad felt a lot like Joseph. He was taken from a job and a "family" he loved and put in a place of high responsibility by someone who did not really care for him, and now like Joseph he was going to be placed into "prison". Joseph, like your Dad, did not deserve what happened to him. He was innocent. He was in the wrong place, wrong time and accused. It was neither of their faults, but the consequences fell on their shoulders. Genesis 39: 21-23 says about Joseph after he was wrongfully accused and thrown into prison, "But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love.... the Lord was with him and whatever he did, the Lord made succeed." Another version says, "he was prosperous." It makes you think about what the word prosperous really means. I know your Dad did not feel prosperous in this time in his life. From the looks and demeanor I saw from him, he looked defeated and discouraged. Everything he loved at work was stripped from him and his pride took a big hit! So what does it mean to be prosperous if God could call Joseph prosperous in the prison and your Dad prosperous when he lost everything that defined him. "And the Lord was with him." The definition is very simple and rewards are great. It does not matter where we are in life as long as, "the Lord is with us" we ARE prosperous.


And the Lord was with your Dad. Gen. 39:2 says, and I believe this to be true about your Dad, "He succeeded in everything he did as he served..." When Dad was brought before the Colonel, it was said about him that he was a good Ranger and that he had never caused any problems. The Colonel showed mercy on your Dad and did not kick him out or send him to Korea. I was overjoyed, but although your Dad was glad to be staying home, he was still not happy. He was moved to a job in the S4 shop which for him was a slap in the face. Your Dad wanted to fight and now he was stuck in supply. Upon finding out in the months to come he would not be deploying, there was an ounce of joy back into your Dad's life.

I was so happy that your Dad was staying home! It was the answer to so many of my prayers and I felt the Lord had truly given this as a gift to us. Abigail, there is one thing I want more than anything and that is to be with your Dad. It was so hard for me for him to be away and I was at peace knowing this was the end. He only had about 10 months left in, which meant no more deployments and time together would be easier to find. Since he was now staying home, we decided to buy a house. It was a fixer upper but we were so excited about doing this and I really thought this was going to make your Dad happier and it did but as fast as it came, the happiness left.

The Battalion was leaving for another deployment in 2 days and your Dad had been told he was staying behind. His sergeant came up to him and told him he was going. David said he did not want to go but the decision had already been made. Your Dad was angry! He had already told me he was not going, and he had other plans now. He tried to fight it but it was no use, it was happening and in 2 days your Dad was leaving. He came home and told me. I cried, weeped, and begged him not to go. I knew it hurt him and after apologizing a million times, he got in the bed and stayed there the rest of the night. Sadness and anger filled out home and your Dad was once again back in "prison" and this time on the other side of the ocean.

And so he went. 3 months, 100 days. They came and went and it all did come to an end. We survived and we were together again, but something was still not right in your Dad. He was bitter and angry. He struggled with why things had happened the way they did. He dealt with his pride constantly asking why he was demoted, in his eyes, for reasons that made no sense to him.

Brother Lewis came home from the deployment where your Dad was in Iraq working supply. He showed pictures to David that took him back. The pictures were of a striker, but not just any striker, the striker your Dad used to arm. The striker has been hit by an IED (Improvised explosive devise), and no one was killed in the hit. No one was killed because no one had replaced your Dad.  Abigail, if your Dad had been there, he would not have come home. These realities didn't mean much at the time to your Dad or I. We were absent minded to what God had really done. Time would change that.

Over a year later, things began looking up for your Dad again. He started his own business and was beginning to see small pieces of fruit developing. He was enjoying life more and seeking what the Lord wanted for his life. The pastor, Ray Cummings, asked everyone in the church to begin to pray for revival in the church and for it to begin in the circle around your own two feet. For the first time in your Dad's life he knelt down and prayed asking for his own revival to begin. Little did he know the revolation God had for him.

As he began to pray, God gave your Dad a vision. He was in Iraq driving on the top of the striker he saw in the pictures from Brother Lewis. The IED was ahead but before the striker was hit, two angels came down and removed your Dad from the striker. Your Dad was saved, but not by chance, it was uniquely planned by the Lord! His Hand removed your Dad from that striker.

Abigail, so many times in your life you will ask Why? Like Joseph and like your Dad, we don't always think we "deserve" to be in the prison we are in. We don't always see that the stepping stones or stumbling blocks save our life. We can't see the end, we can only see the right now. But God can see the whole picture. He is working all the time in our life to bring about His purpose and will for our lives. We could never have known a missed phone call, a misfire, and a demotion which save your Dad's life.

There was a poem on a card my Mom gave me when things got hard for me in high school and it said, "Sometimes life is rough and it's hard to understand, why things don't work out exactly like we planed. But just hold a little while with patience and with prayer, you might find a special gift you didn't know was there."