Ring

Our engagement picture were taken Saturday Morning before he left that afternoon!

Your Dad and I continued to date for the months to come. We had a great time together and there are so many things I could share from this time. Your Dad was so good to me and I knew deep down he was going to be the one, but I was constantly battling the peace I felt when I was with him.

I prayed for our relationship asking God if your dad was not right for me that he would end it early. I remember kneeling on my knees by the bed each night after he left asking God to protect my heart. It was like I was so scared he was going to leave, I could not truly embrace what God had given me.

I recalled to mind James 4 where is says, "Draw near to me and I will draw near to you." I was nestling up to  the Lord asking for his continued hand in our relationship and in the direction of my life. But it wasn't until sometime in January, God gave me my first diamond.

It was late one night after your Dad had went home and I found myself yet again on my knees praying about your Dad. I began to cry, just begging God to not allow your Dad to hurt me. It was a struggle inside me to rest in the Lord's peace, and it was making me physically exhausted. And then in the quiet, louder than my cry, the Lord spoke to me.

Many times in my life, I have heard the Lord speak to my heart, but this time it was more than that. I heard the Lord audibly speak to me. Almost 6 years later, I can still hear His still, quiet voice say, "Be still and know that I am God." Words cannot begin to explain the voice I heard and the overwhelming peace and trust in the Lord I felt. His voice was stern, yet loving. It was a whisper that could be heard only by my attuned ears. Why me? Why allow me to hear Your voice? Don't these things only happen in the Bible?

So many times, Abigail, we miss God because we do not seek Him in the quiet places of our heart. We do not hear because we do not listen, and we do not have, because we do not ask. Abigail, always be found listening, and always be found ready!!

After this moment with the Lord, I had a new confidence in our relationship.

I started writing a book that I planned on giving to your Dad when left for his deployment if we were still together. (we still have the book in the living room of the house. one day I plan to read it to you) The book is mostly prayers and thoughts for your Dad. As the Lord was teaching me things, I would write them down for your Dad to read. I wrote quotes that I love in the book and my favorite Bible verses. This book was full of me and something I really wanted your Dad to cherish.

Five months flew by and April came too soon. Your Dad was a "Ranger." (I know it didn't mean much to me either at first) He explains it to me as the elite soldier, and the only ones who "do" anything in the war. I guess his t-shirt explains it best, "When is absolutely, positively has to be destroyed over night." He was a gunnar and you know how much he loves guns. He loved his job, but it was difficult. Difficult because I knew he was only home 6 months, then gone for 3. I knew he had just gotten home when we met, and the time to leave was drawing near.

He never said much about it, but I could feel it. First sign, He told me he loved me. Second sign, Time off. Third sign, He wanted to spend time with Papa Teddy.

I had to give him my gifts because knowing your Dad, he would have left without saying good-bye to protect his unit. It was late on Monday, April 5th and I gave your Dad the book I had written, a Bible, and several hand written letters. I cried but he kept assuring me, it was all going to be okay.

Remember the ring I talked about. The one with the heart and the cross that I wore to remind me of the promise the Lord gave me that He would protect me. Well, that night, I pulled it off my finger and gave it to your Dad. I told him I wanted it to protect him like God had protected me by giving me your Dad. He took the ring and tied it to the knife he kept in his pocket.

Sissy and I the Sunday after showing off our rings. 

Little did I know, your Dad had bigger plans for that ring. He took that ring to the jeweler and used it to get the size for my engagement ring.

Thursday your Dad asked me to marry him, and Saturday he left for the deserts of Iraq.

This story is so dear and precious to my heart. It just shows the power of releasing things over to the Lord, and trusting in His promises. That small ring with a big promise, turned into a bigger ring full of joy holding with it the promise of your Dad. He is more than I could have dreamed!

Abigail, many times in life it will be easy to walk away and not trust in God's promises because they seem to far out of reach. But trust them Abigail, remind yourself of them daily, and wait on the Lord to fulfill them!